27. Factor C

(Warning: If you are already in a bad mood, don’t read this. It is rather confusing….)

To live a good life, Change is essential. - Quote by Me…


In the last few days I have met two of my old friends. When I say ‘friend’, I mean it. Otherwise I am astute enough to classify people into ‘having acquaintance with’, ‘colleague’, ‘just known’ and ‘friend’ etc. Both of them are my ‘friends’ according to my definition. To both of them I accidentally met after a considerable gap.

After a chat for few minutes, X said, “Oh, you have not at all changed!”…. I smiled and responded by saying, “But some part of me is completely changed”… My friend smiled but did not accept my statement.

In the similar situation, Y reacted, “You have completely become another person. I would not have recognized you. I feel like I am meeting a stranger”. …. On this too, I smiled and tried to assure him by saying, “Oh, some part of me is not at all changed…. I am the same person…”

I won’t ascribe the change in their responses to their gender. Friends are friends first and forever…. whether the friend is a man or a woman hardly makes a difference. May be they saw me in different situations or responses. They were not talking about physiological change (as that is unavoidable) but subtler change in me.

There is no contradiction when I say that I have changed and I have not changed. The statements actually complement each other… because nothing can change completely but at the same time nothing can remain the same forever.

What happens? There are four possibilities:
a. situation changes, response remains the same
b. situation changes, response changes
c. situation remains the same, response changes
d. situation remains the same, response remains the same

Above these, there could be two overarching facts: one is to be aware of these, another is not being aware…. And each of these gives rise to either a new situation or a new response or both…

When I review my life objectively (is it really possible?), I find that I have all these four elements. Sometimes trying to change a situation itself is a response, but the ‘situation’ is not completely under one’s control. Sometimes ‘not at all responding’ too is a kind of response.

If our responses do not change, life will become a big bore. If the situation does not change, then too life will become boring. So, it is good that things around keep on changing. In the process, I lost some precious things, but I gained much more too…. Sometimes it hurts when I come across response different than what I expect, but that too in inevitable. I too haven’t pleased each and everyone around me. I gave pain and I have my share of pain.

What triggers change in my response? Experiences, increase or decrease in capabilities, exposure, change in values and perspective….

What factors are responsible for my steadfast response? Dunno.

Sometimes the Change brings back me to the original positions, questioning the whole journey

To Exit, to completely withdraw from something is the biggest and mostly irreversible change. But do we ever be able to experience it? When I withdraw from one arena, I enter into other.

I cannot eliminate factor C…. actually that has been the backbone of my life so far.