Evening at Zambezi River, Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe, May 2015
and so does everything around... the situation, the people, the perspective, the needs.... and we too change.... the wise and courageous seek change.. because only change is constant!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

72. Pencil Pull

Lately a strange feeling is enveloping me. I do not know how to express it in words. It is a pull. It is a temptation. It is an addiction. It is a habit. It is becoming life. It is becoming larger than life.

It is hard to remember when I started writing. It definitely started with schooling, but I have no memories of my early writing. Because I still love words so much, I guess I must have learnt writing slowly, in a relaxed manner, in a creative way.

I always wanted to write. Writing for me is an act of soul searching. Unless one reaches the inner depths, one cannot write well. I know this because many times I have written badly. Honesty, sensitivity, empathy, detachment, intensity, creativity, hard work is essential for good writing. Writing in a way is a spiritual act – only if one writes for the joy of writing and not for appreciation and rewards. If one follows writing ‘religiously’, one can hope to reach that spiritual level.

In a true sense, I am just a beginner in the art of writing. I do not know why one feels like writing. I do not know what power drives me to write. I do not know why I write. I am sure people too feel this, when they read my writing…J If I can attain 1% of what I have said above, I will not only be a good writer but a happy and good person.

Every writer faces a phase when s/he can’t write anything. That is known as ‘Writer’s Block’. I have repeatedly experienced such anxiety and fear. After this phase, the first word I write is such a relief! The joy of liberation is a gift I constantly ask for.

However, here I am, going through another extreme phase. I have not read much about it, but I am sure every writer, nay every artist goes through it. It is a phase of chaos. One has too many ideas, too many thoughts, too many feelings but the power of articulation, the power of expression seems to be completely missing. It is like a traffic jam. You have fuel, you have a grand vehicle with power steering, you have motivation to drive, but you don’t move because there are too many vehicles on the road.

My mind is like a sponge. Every moment I live, I absorb something of it. It soaks in me. It influences me. It affects me. It teaches me. It is fine with me, because that is the way I am. I believe that to be able to write well, a writer needs to be involved into many things – ‘getting into others’ shoes’ sort of.

But with so many ideas in mind, and only limited time to write, I am becoming a little restless. I am experiencing a strong internal pull to express, to share, to articulate. As if the computer keyboard or the pen has a magnetic power. In the midst of the night, I get an idea, and I write. I no more have control over words, the words are controlling me. The unexpressed in willing to be expressed – and that is a strong will. It is as if I am possessed by words.

I guess I need to slow down. I need to objectively look at the moment of the strong pull and come out of that moment of temptation. The overdose of words is killing me (just exaggerating!) But I am compelled to write; because writing is the only art I am sometimes good at.

May be I will leave the keyboard and the pen for a while. I should learn playing harmonium, which I want to do for years. I cannot sing for the fear of having conflict with neighbors! I should purchase another binocular and begin bird watching once again. Because I am not good at any of these things, I can’t rush. I will be more relaxed. I will be more curious. I will learn more.

Guess what? I am experiencing another pull, a pencil pull. I am going to grab it and I am going to draw a sketch -for a change!


  1. lovely post... the pull of writting is indeed very strong... well expressed :)

  2. The many travails of writers. Inspiration strikes when inopportune and when you sit down to pen, flies out like a lark..

    Nicely Done !

  3. really good post, yes I am with you the pull is strong and addictive.

  4. You have a lotta hobbies, and good ones....time to start ...But keep writing :)
    Nice :)

  5. Rajlakshmi, thanks for visiting and leaving comment.

    Madhu, you are right, inspiration strikes but nothing is delivered at times.

    Harsha, yes, it is an addictive pull. I guess it has to with our nature (swabhava).

    Megha, welcome to Times Change. I think writing is the easiest of hobbies, it can be done any time .. so I fear I will continue with it :)

  6. You are right. Writing is a sort of compulsion. Good one.

  7. hey i agree with the pull of your pencil...nice...:D

  8. Haha, I cannot really say that I have a pencil pull, I would say that being a computer engineer, I often have a keyboard pull.

  9. It was nice. I could relate myself to it not though completely.
    All the best! :)

  10. It's definitely addictive. And a good addiction.
    This post seemed to me like a wonderful resolution for 2010. Keep going. :)
    By the way, when you said you wanted to buy binoculars for bird watching, did you actually mean 'bird' watching? :P lol..
    Beautiful write-up!
    All the best!

  11. Dreamer, yes, it is sort of compulsion.

    Sid, good to have 'agrreement'.

    dattaabhishek, keyboard pull is more prominent for me too.

    Nethra, would be interested in knowing where and what you felt differently. I don't mean we should agree but like to know more about different perceptions.

    Karthik, interesting to note your doubt about bird watching.. I meant bird watching. I did it for couple of years and then lost binocular in house-theft. So, want to restart with new binocular.

  12. My the sketches with the pencil draw a few lines of thoughts a sow some new ideas...for more writing to blossom !

  13. "May the pull be with you always"

    nice writing ..:)

  14. dont u just love having this forum... to write n be read?

    keep going...

  15. Thanks Kavi and Sorcerer for your wishes.
    JustAnother, oh! I love this forum. Thanks for reminding me.

  16. The pull is strong and obsessive! It is called motivation. It is called passion. It is called love. Great stream of words coming in there!

  17. I totally agree with you here aativas.I think many times this phase of chaos or traffic jam leads to writers block.I am first time here. I don't know how I missed your blog so long?! the loss is all mine.

  18. Actually after I started to write sometimes its an idea storm and then the storm dies down and I wait for the next one... very well expressed predicament of creative minds....

  19. Doing rounds to see if I missed visiting anyone and Sorcerer's comment "May the pull be with you". Indeed, that would help us all :-)

  20. neeraj, thanks for visit and good to have a comment from you.

    pra, welcome here. nice of you to shower compliment in the first visit itself. hopefully, you would like the blog in future too.

    Dhiman, creative minds have more predicaments to face, somehow!

    Madhu, very nice of you to check again .. yah! let there be pull for all of us!

  21. such a lovely description of the picture...well done..

    First time on your blog..

    all the best.

  22. You have put your thoughts across very well and there were many sentences that I personally agreed upon!
    The pencil pull is indeed as strong as the pull of iron filings to a magnet (pardon my scientific bent of mind) :)

    Good luck for BATOM6! :)

  23. I loved your post very much! And ur writing style is indeed very good :)

  24. i do connect myself with every word of this post....
    The vaccuum, chaos and emptiness did made me to stop writing sometimes....
    Honest and relevant post.....
    Thought provoking and intriguing ...

  25. geeta, welcome to Times Change and thanks for your wishes.

    gkam, well, I have never experienced pencil pull earlier, but can imagine what it could be..

    Shruti, good to know that you loved this post.

    Mahesh, nice to know that another writer feel connected with the experience :)

  26. brilliant!
    the artist's angst expressed so beautifully.
    keep writing!!!

  27. Very nice and so true.. I have experienced each and every word you penned down!! Wonderful post :)

    PS: First time here

  28. guess what..I want to paint. but this blog-a-ton is taking too much time....cant blame u if the pencil pulls ya...goos post!

  29. nice post.Can very well relate to the things you have mentioned in the post..about going through a writer's block, the chaos, the rush about wanting to write about every single thing.. all that a writer goes through is well written..

  30. magiceye, does it happen with photography too?

    The West Wind, thanks and welcome.. and a curious name indeed..

    pushpee, yes, i can't imagine what will happen to all of us when actually 100 bloggers participate in BAT :)

    Thanks Tuppence :)

  31. Thank you so much for voting for me at BATOM 6 :D.

  32. Dreamer, your post was really good..:)


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