Evening at Zambezi River, Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe, May 2015
and so does everything around... the situation, the people, the perspective, the needs.... and we too change.... the wise and courageous seek change.. because only change is constant!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

174. My Choice

I was visiting this particular city after a long time.
“How many years ago, did I last come here?” I asked myself.
Well, maybe five years ago, maybe seven; I did not even remember it.
So, I gave up that idea. If I don’t remember, then it is not important for me at that moment.

I suddenly remembered my friend. In all my earlier visits, this particular friend’s home was my contact and staying place in the city.
“For how long we have not communicated with each other?” I asked myself again and had no answer and so gave up that too.

I found the phone number of that friend in the contact list.
I was not comfortable in directly making a call. I was not connected and I know I cannot take for granted anything from anybody at anytime.
I texted a message on that number even when I did not know whether the number still existed or not.
“I am in your city today. We can meet if you wish.” I knew this was rather a cryptic message.
Five minutes passed away. Another ten minutes ran away. I was waiting for the reply and was anxious about what it would be.
After half an hour, I received a text message. It said, “I have lost contacts from my old handset. Whose number is this?”

I wrote my name, which on second thoughts I should not have.
If somebody who was your close friend once upon a time has lost not only you but even your contact information - the message is loud and clear.
You are lost – forever.
Why try to keep things which are not yours?

I smiled and then forgot everything about that friend.
But then afterwards I asked one more question to myself – “What is the difference between two of us?” Nothing; actually.
So I have no business to feel bad about how others treat me.

"They" have their choice and I have my choice.


  1. Just this once...I thought I should share my views on this with you which might be contrary to yours. Sometimes we take someone we know so much for granted that we do not save their information. We do feel bad when we lose it and are more than happy to reconnect with those friends whenever we get a chance. Not always is it that we are 'top of mind friends' for everyone. Sometimes we are a little lower and that is fun too :)

  2. Isnt there a lesson in this?
    Why lose contact for years who have been your friends?

  3. Agree with Raindrop and Mr. Chowla here!! Also, when the contacts were lost from the old handset nothing much could be done I guess... so may be, you should not be so harsh on yourself and your friend!!

  4. I have, coincidentally, seen your blog's title which comes after mine - I started reading and I really like it ... it was as if I was writing ,, this sense ,,,I have been through this feeling of abandonment ... probably indifference of others ,,, having so much sense ,, conscious ,, true real genuine feelings for others who really DO NOT DESERVE to be in your life ,,whether friends ,, family members ,, or closer persons makes you think again of whom to keep and whom to forget and let go ,,,,

  5. I know the feeling! I have lost contacts with so many friends.But then, out of blue, suddenly I remember an old event and feel nostalgia, and then feel irritated because my emails to them bounce back! :)

  6. Makk, in Delhi summer, one needs to be cool :-)

  7. Raindrop, what I am trying to say is that the feeling is momentary. If one understands that, one can take anything in stride. There is no question of being 'higher' or 'lower' because I believe every person is unique :-)

  8. B. K. Chowlajee, you are right! I am saying the same - only using different words. If I have no contact - that person is no more my friend. I have already forgotten the friend- so I should not feel bad about it.

  9. Shilpa, thanks for your kind words. No, I am not harsh on myself or my 'friend'. I have accepted that fact and moved on :-)

  10. NN, thanks and welcome.
    Well, all this keeps on happening in life. Sometimes we are at the receiving end but at other times we do the same to others. This realization helps .. really helps!

  11. Sunilbhai, I am sure some of your friends must be complaining the same about you :-)

  12. OMG ...!!
    First thing I m going to do tonight is to copy all the numbers from my old handset to the new one...
    I never thought someone can take such msg so seriously & feel he/she is no longer my friend, Or the worst part , I am no longer his/her friend ! :(
    Thnks !!!

  13. Apurva, good decision.
    And don't forget to copy my both the numbers :-)

  14. You have reflected well--we think too much...all is okay!

  15. Bhavana, yes, many times we have no option but to accept whatever happens!

  16. I so wholly agree with the complete picture as I have suffered in the same way...true reflections Savita!

  17. AmitAag, thanks. I guess we all go through it; it is a kind of common experience for most of us.

  18. yeah been thro the same situation ...but there are some friends with whom you just pick up from where you last left even if its 10 years :)

  19. TTT, you are right. Sometimes things don't turn out to be bad - we should be open to all the possibilities.

  20. I don't think such messages can be read. What can one do if suddenly phone gets lost or all numbers get wiped out?

  21. The Fool, it only means that you are not frequently calling!! That then becomes open to interpretation :-)


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