23. New Vision

I lost my spectacles on train. For a week, I was out of the city. I was amongst people who could ‘read for me’ whenever required. In addition, I was mostly using laptop for reading and writing, and I found that I could manage life without a spectacle very comfortably.

I had the old prescription with me. However, I took this opportunity to visit Ophthalmologist. He has a very busy schedule. Meeting him by appointment saves time and energy. So, fixing an appointment. The doc was away from the city, so I had to wait for 10 days. It was ok, because I was mostly in the office, and reading on computer was not much of a problem. I could not read papers, books and magazines well, but then I can always live without them.

I had a good fortnight. After coming home in the evenings, relaxed, thought of different things – I mostly tend to think of pleasant things – so was always smiling. Listened to music, listened to yoganidra audio cassette before going to bed, did some cleaning, chatted with neighbors, called plumber and electrician and a whole lot of home maintenance.

I went through routine check up. The assistant doctor told me that earlier I had a ‘short (near) vision’ problem, now it seems that I have developed ‘long (distant) vision’ problem too. Earlier my spectacle was only for ‘near work’ now it has to ‘bi-focal’. To assure me he said, “With the increasing age, vision is lost, it is very normal.” Obviously, he is young and is used to pronouncing the sentence at least 25 times in a day.

Oops….. I was always bad at ‘seeing’ things, which were near; age has nothing to do with loss of this faculty. I was born with that. But I always had the capacity (so I believe) to look beyond, to interpret subtleties, to dream for world which I was not given as birth right. I struggled in the process, but what a worthy struggle it was!

Now it seems that I will not be able to look beyond a certain range and the power will keep on decreasing. As it is I am not used to look at things nearby, and even that power is diminishing. So, what will I be looking at, now onwards? More importantly, what will be I looking for in the remaining life?

How funny it is that with growing age, one looses vision. One needs all sorts of external aid to ‘see’ around. Earlier due to rush of life, there was no time to ‘see’ things, now there is time but I cannot see much. (Of course, I am exaggerating!! I am talking about spectacles that every person needs after crossing 40....... So, don’t you worry......)

May be, it means only youth can envisage.
May be, it means that it is time that I spend all my energy in looking ‘inside’ – to look within.

Today, I finally have my new spectacles.



Then everything became clear. There is no ambiguity, no doubts, and no reservations.
Yes, the life span is limited and there are many things to do.

With external means, some journey could be easily done.

When that too will not be possible, time will tell me what action to take. Why bother right now?

Some new vision may emerge. May be, one kind of loss of vision creates way for another kind of vision. I should be ready to welcome this new vision.....
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