121. Change

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton Season 2 edition 18; the eighteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Is it a story? Is it reflection? Is it philosophy? Is it weirdness? Is it dream? Is it silliness?

I do not know.
I have a definite message to give you.

You have a choice to label my effort. And you have a choice to label me as you like. 

No, I am not a prophet. I am neither God nor Ghost. If I say I am not a human being, you will assume that I am Alien - which in a way is right but not completely right.

My message is brief.
All I want to say is: Be ready for Change.
It can happen at any moment.
It will happen with anyone of you and each one of you.

I am smiling.
Actually, I notice it because I am smiling after a long time.
I am smiling at myself, not at you. So I hope you won't mind.

To be honest, I had always thought that after this unavoidable change, I would be less confused.
However the confusion remains.
Only problem is:  I do not know whether now I am capable of a feeling called  'confusion'.
For that matter, I am not sure whether I am capable of feeling anything.

Even after this biggest change, I cannot communicate to you.. I can not reach out to you.
Everything else might have changed, but this 'not being able to reach out' remains intact.
But as I said, it no more hurts.

Ha! Ha! I am communicating this confusion of mine to you, I understand.

I do not remember what I felt when I entered this world.
Nothing inhuman in it, as nobody remembers.
Seers and Spiritual stalwarts have said something about that moment of 'being born' , but rationally speaking it is all speculation.
Imaginative. Creative. Right; but after all just speculation.
What the Seers say is probable, but one can not vouch for its truth.
Human beings have selective memory, they remember only what they want and can hide everything else under the carpet.
If something is not remembered, that does not mean that it was never lived. Life is much broader than memories.

Just like 'the moment of birth' Seers, Poets and Artists have expressed the moment of 'Death' in different ways.

But that too is just speculation.

Nobody knows what human beings think and feel when they die.There is no general knowledge (as all human beings cannot be thinking the same) and no one can know what an individual thinks!

People always ask about 'what did s/he speak last?' to understand what the person might be thinking while 'getting' (or is it 'being'?) dead.

But this is based on the assumption that the brain of the person on the deathbed is fully functional and there is also an assumption that brain is logical.

Nobody will ever know what the person thinks when the last moment arrives.

Why I am talking of life? As if it is some distant phase? As if it is my past?
That is because, for me everything has suddenly changed.
The burden is over.
The journey has ended finally.
I am feeling ('feeling' again! Words are meaningless sometimes!) light.
I am completely relaxed.

The old binding exists no more.
The old relations exist no more.
The old ways of responding exist no more.
The old dreams and expectations exist no more.
The old resistance exists no more.
The old fear exists no more.
The old me is not there at all.

There is no pain, though you might be still discussing my pain.
There is no opinion, though you might remember me for my strong opinions.
There are no likes and dislikes, though I confess that once I was very adamant about those.
There are no more associations, though you might have those in your memories - me and the places, me and the objects, me and the other people, me and you.
There is nothing to hold on, nothing to possess,  nothing to own, nothing to feel bad or good about.

I thought - meaning when I lived - that I would know when I leave this body for ever.
Now I have no body, I have no mind.I have no intellect.
No wonder that I cannot reach out to you.
Actually in your day to day language, I am dead.

Don't be scared, I am not a Ghost.
I do not exist except in your memories.
You can talk about Soul and Life after Death kind of stuff, but to be frank  your ideas and your language is irrelevant Here and Now.
Again the words I used 'Here and Now' are misleading - they suggest that I am in some kind of Space and Time Frame - which I am not.

Change happens in different ways. Creation, Growth, Reduction, Expansion, Contraction, Decay, Destruction, Turn Around .. are all different ways of Change.
However,  Transformation is a totally different kind of change - it is not logical and not just  biological.

I want to tell you something about this Transformation, but as I said earlier - I am not able to reach out to you.
There is no connection between us now.
There is no bridge.
I might be your memory, but you are not my memory, because I have no memory.
In the process of death, not only body vanishes, but the whole perspective changes.
It is a complete Transformation.

This Change can happen at any moment.
It is going to happen with each one of you.
It is one of the most certain changes.
However, it is one of the most unpredictable changes too.
This Change is constant though transient.

If you are well prepared (body, mind, perception etc.), this change does not hurt. There is no pain if one is well prepared.
I want to assure you that when the Transformation happens, it is not painful.
To use your language - Yes, as Lord Krishna told Arjuna - vaasaansi jeerNaani yathaa vihaaya - death is just like changing clothes.

Do not lament, do not grieve for me because I am dead.
Do not lament, do not grieve for me because I am not with you anymore.
Do not lament, do not grieve for me because some of my dreams were never fulfilled.
Do not lament, do not grieve for me because I could not share my last thoughts with you.
Do not lament, do not grieve for the things that were not communicated to me, that were not done for me .. becuase in the long run they do not matter at all.

Be ready for this Transformation, for this Change called DEATH.
Prepare yourself for this Transformation, for this Change.

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120. ‘Watch’ Man

Some experiences seem very trivial when they begin; but they generate many learning’s in the process. When I entered a Watch Show Room, I did not know that I was going to learn few lessons from a salesman on the counter. Because of the history associated with my wristwatch, I could look at the whole experience with a detached perspective and still enjoyed it.

In my childhood I was fascinated by wristwatch, simply because I did not have one. Sometime in the college days, I could purchase one with my own money (i.e. scholarship money) but I was forced to purchase a piece which I did not like. So, I hardly used it. And this experience took away all my temptation of wrist watches. I could always do without one.

Later, in Mumbai all my colleagues in the organization were concerned that I did not have a simple thing like a wristwatch! I was working as a Full Time Worker then and someone appealed (without my knowledge) to the General Secretary of the organization to arrange for a wristwatch for me! The General Secretary was very kind; he wrote me to purchase a wristwatch and added that I should not bother about the cost of the watch. Whatever was the cost; he ensured that no one would question me about that. He must have been sure that I won’t purchase a costly wristwatch. I smiled at that letter and chose to be without wristwatch. Actually, so many people around me had watches, and all the railway stations in Mumbai had big watches displaying time all the while, that I decided wristwatch was an unnecessary luxury in life.

One colleague gave me a wristwatch used by her late father. She told me that it was a sort of family treasure, and she was sharing with me because she treated me as part of her family. I have never been comfortable about this talk of ‘being part of someone’s family’ when one actually is not their family member. Moreover, using someone’s article without knowing him and after his death was something I was not comfortable with. So I kept the wristwatch in my bag. Fortunately this colleague was placed thousands of kilometers away from me. During those days phone calls and emails were not common – letters was the only way of communication. We used to meet once or twice in the semi annual meetings of the organization. Then she found that I was not using the watch but I could calm her down by saying ‘in the hurry of catching the train, I forgot it in the office and it was safe’. It was a lie – but I did it with the intention of not hurting her.

Then four of my friends – who were local volunteers of the organization I was working with – brought a Titan wristwatch for me. That was costly item in 1985s. None of them were rich – they were all middle class people. To respect their love for me, I started using that wristwatch. It always reminded me that there are many people in my life who love me selflessly – to accept their love was the least I could do, if not return their love.

This wristwatch was a good piece. For almost 15 years I used this. Then suddenly the wristwatch started acting in a funny way. It was running no doubt; but it was running the other way round –in an anti clock direction. After five, the clock went to four and then to three thirty etc. I thought the watch has worn out and there was no point in making it work further. It had served me enough and it deserved a well earned rest. So I went to a showroom, showed the earlier piece and told the salesman that I wanted to purchase ‘the same’(similar) piece anew.

Sunil said, “I will repair this watch. Why do you want to purchase a new one?”

I told him that the piece was very old and it had done its job and purchasing a new one was the right decision. Still he insisted on trying to repair the old piece. I was very surprised. I asked, “You will earn more benefit by selling a new piece rather than repairing this old one. Then why are you insisting on the latter?”

Sunil smiled. He said, “To sell watches is my job. However, that is not the only purpose of my being here. The number of watches sold does not make a sense unless the watches work well. Customer satisfaction and watch quality are also important. This piece should work alright; I am concerned why it is not working. If you wanted to purchase new piece, I would have sold you one. But you are purchasing new one because this is not working, is a matter of concern for me.”

As promised, Sunil repaired this watch. It worked well for almost six months. One morning it fell down from the table and stopped working.

I went to the same shop and met Sunil again. “Now, this time I need to purchase a new watch”, I told Sunil smilingly. However Sunil was concerned. He said, “I had repaired that watch with utmost care. It should not stop working just because it fell down from the table. Let me see, what I can do”. I was not ready for repair. I was ready to keep that piece as souvenir –as fond memory of my friends’ love. Sunil said, “You have one year warrantee on the watch repair you did last time. You don’t have to pay anything this time for the repairs. Trust me; don’t hurry in for new purchase.” By this time, I had shared the watch story with Sunil and so he naturally wanted me to use the same watch as long as I could.

Sunil repaired that wristwatch again. It worked well for another year. Then there was theft in my home and the wristwatch was also stolen. One of those four friends who had given me this watch, passed away in the mean time.

I lost the wristwatch .. alright! But I learnt a lot from Sunil. Here is a ‘watchman’ who believes that his work should be perfect. He is a kind of person who does not compromise with quality while achieving his target. Here is a man who takes responsibility of faults and takes corrective actions proactively. Here is a man who values work for the beauty of work and cares that the person at the other end should be satisfied.

There are so many simple people around who have such a grand work ethics that I feel like saluting them. They are the ones who make this world worth living.

Watching Sunil and watching my responses to his action was fun. Though I do not use wristwatch today, I am sure that I would like to have one to meet Sunil again! Maybe, during my next trip to Pune, would just go and meet Sunil .. I am sure; he would "allow" me to purchase a new piece this time! Though I am not yet convinced that I need a wristwatch!!

**

119. Being a Hindu

“Are you Hindu?” he asked me.

I was bending down to tie up shoe lace. Still I managed to look at him in an instant (without breaking my neck, that is.)

No, he was not mischievous. Nor was he teasing me. He looked very serious.

Actually, just a nod from me would have settled the matter.

But as it always happens with me, it triggered a chain of long hidden thoughts.

I was with a group of total strangers. We all had joined together one Sunday afternoon with a group named ‘Delhi Metro Walks’. The idea was to explore Old Delhi that evening and taste typical Delhi food. We were walking, eating, chatting for last few hours. We were a group of just 9, and more than half of them were obviously non Indians.

On the way, we came across a Jain temple. Some were not interested but I went in. It was not an ancient temple as such and I was disappointed with it.

While coming out, I was thinking about ‘Role of Temples’ and suddenly this question was thrown at me.

And this young man, non Hindu, non Indian asked me this particular question.

I am rather stubborn about certain things. One of that is ‘not allowing people to recognize my religion from any external signs’. For long, strangers have assumed me to be anything but Hindu. So, when this man asked me this question, I was really surprised.

“I was born and brought up in a Hindu family”, I answered honestly.

Now it was his (and others’) turn to be amazed.

“What do you mean? Have you changed your religion?” he asked.

“Oh, no, that is not the case,” I said, though my ideas about Religion are still evolving.

From casual conversation, the discussion was fast turning to be very personal.

“Being Hindu is very easy”, I was thinking aloud.

What is the essence of Hinduism?

For that matter, what is the essence of any religion?

Philosophy, Ritual and Social Rules are the three major aspects of religion.

Now the social code has been replaced by Law. So, no question of following religious rules.

Ritual I have hardly ever followed. That has not stopped me from being a Hindu.

And Philosophies – there are so many, I like many of those. I like Charvaka and Shankaracharya, Gautama the Buddha and Ramanujacharya, Kapila and Patanjali; Shrikrishna and Ramkrishna Paramhamsa, Tukaram and Kabir, Aurobindo and J Krishnmurty .. the list is unending. I can criticise any one of them and every one of them and still I can be a Hindu.

Hindu philosophy in a way is a big 'HoldAll' and I like it that way!

Some say: Rebirth, Law of Karma, Liberation are the basic tenets of Hinduism. I don’t think I believe in any of those seriously. Intellectually I can argue about it and write articles .. but they do not constitute my core values of life.

Still I am 'a' Hindu – because I am born and brought up in a Hindu family and I have not converted to any other religion.

You can do anything, you can do nothing, you can criticise, you can rebel....but still the Hinduness remains intact.

That is the beauty of ‘Being a Hindu’.

118. Concern

I had to travel from Jodhpur to Udaipur.

The primary teacher at Shiv (in Barmer district) Mr. Balaram had assured me that the Roadways (State Transport) has a good frequency of buses from Jodhpur to Udaipur. I wanted to leave Shiv early in the morning - but that meant disturbing the whole family: I was staying in the house of Mr. Balaram. So, after his insistence I agreed to catch 8.00 am bus which was supposed to take me to Jodhpur by 11.30. With the simple calculations everyone assumed that I would be able to catch bus at 12.00 noon and would safely reach Udaipur latest by 5.00 in the evening. It meant at least 9 hours journey at a stretch. But I had no options.

The Private Bus arrived at Shiv at the right time - sharp 8.00 in the morning. With the usual village concern, the driver and conductor were requested to take care of me. The conductor nodded and offered 'best' seat to me. From the window I was able to watch beauty of Rajasthan.

Suddenly the bus stopped. On the road, a group of 10 young men were waiting for this bus. The driver and the conductor got down. There were loud discussions - I could not understand the cause as they were speaking in the local language. But something was serious. After lot of deliberations the matter was resolved and the driver and the conductor returned to the bus unscratched. Looking at me, the driver smiled, and said, "Don't worry Madam". I know when to worry and when not to worry - I knew that the situation demanded the second strategy, and hence I was relaxed. My only concern was lack of knowledge of local language - I almost missed that exciting conversation.

Shiv- Jodhpur bus reached at Jodhpur at 12.15 in the noon. I was not worried as I was told that the Jodhpur -Udaipur Roadways has a good frequency. The auto rickshaw driver suggested that I catch a private bus, but I rejected his suggestion and went to Roadways' terminus.

After reaching there, I was informed that the 12.00 noon bus had left and the next bus was only at 15.00 hours. On my question "'how much time it would take to reach Udaipur?"- I was told that I would reach after 10.00 in the night. The journey from Jodhpur to Udaipur was of more than 6 hours and not 4 hours as I was told.

I came out of the bus stand. An old auto rickshaw driver approached me. I told him that I want to catch a bus for Udaipur and asked him to take me to the right Private Bus terminus. He looked at me.
He asked, "Are you from Udaipur?"
"No, I am going there for work", I replied.
"Do you often go to Udaipur?" he had one more question.
"Oh! Not many times.. but I have visited the city earlier." I patiently answered.
"Are you traveling alone?" he asked another question.
I was little worried about this conversation. I mean it was none of his business.

"Yes, I am alone." I told him.
"Do you have any relatives in Udaipur?" the man was unstoppable.
"Come on Uncle, let us go", I tried to pass that question.

"Now, don't misunderstand me. But if you are traveling alone and you are new to the city, it is better you travel by Roadways," he said calmly. I was amazed at that statement.

I gave him a neat look. He looked tired, little older than his age. He was clearly a poor man, in need of money. His eyes were soft. He was not smiling because he understood that I was irritated at the conversation, but he was firm. I was not sure what to make of this.

"See Madam, I can take you to Private bus stand and I will get 50 rupees for the drive. But the Private Buses are reckless sometimes. The road is lonely, if some accident happens on the way, what will you do alone in the night time? The road does not have mobile range at times. So, I think it is better for you to travel by Roadways." he added very softly but confidently.

I could understand his concern. I had a fresh experience of Private Bus in the morning itself!
"The accident can happen to Roadways too", I muttered - not challenging him as such - but provoking him a bit.
"You are right Madam. Accident can happen to any bus. But Roadways drivers are not drunk - not at least when they are on duty. If something goes wrong, Roadways has its network and they will provide alternate vehicle to travelers up to Udaipur. Roadways won't ditch you on the road, it won't leave you to take care of yourself." he added.

I started smiling. That gave him more courage. He added, "And Private bus will wait for passengers and waste lot of time. On the other hand, Roadways bus moves on time. You will at most reach by 9.30 even if you catch a Private Bus at 1.00 noon. Why not wait here, have food, read paper, and then travel safely?"

I decided to follow his advice. I turned. But stopped. I said, "I understand that by giving me this advice, you have given up an earning of fifty rupees. I would like to pay you something for this good advise. I appreciate your concern. " By saying this I handed him a fifty rupee note.

He refused. I felt guilty because he actually was offended by my offer. I said "sorry" to him.

Then he said., "Don't count everything in money. It is my duty to make you aware of the dangers. I am happy that you are not adamant. I am glad that you will reach safely and that is my reward. Women when travel alone, should be more careful" he said.

Then he hastily added, "not because you are not empowered enough, but because the society is not sensitive enough!"

If only everyone around has such sensitivity! If only everyone is concerned in Right Way!

117. Quick Shake

My body, mind and intellect are at loggerheads again.

I know it is not the right time for this to happen. My problem is : there is never a right time for it to happen. Every time I excuse myself on this point, they become adamant. Especially at this hour, I have no control over them. I do not have a wrist watch or a wall clock. But somehow I can always guess time approximately correctly. This must be around 1.30 in the morning, I know.

The windowpanes are making noise. The bed is behaving as if it is contemplating to hurriedly initiate a Rock Dance. The dogs are barking. The crows and kites are engaged in producing frightening calls. People are shouting loudly. First I thought I must be dreaming. But I realize that it is an Earthquake. My intellect orders me to RUSH DOWN – ‘Safety First’ is the right approach in such situations.

However, mind rejects the suggestion of the intellect. (I know, I should not do this!) It decides to ‘experience’ what is happening. The body and mind have their own conflict, but when intellect arrives in the picture, the body always associates with the mind. Like politicians, nobody is a permanent enemy of the other in my own world too.

I am awake, but not frightened. I am not panicking. I am not running away. It is foolish of me to act in this way, but I can’t help. I am listening to the trembling Earth. I think she is saying something, but can’t make out what it is.

The tremor lasts only for few seconds. Two seconds? Three seconds? I am not sure. It ends as if before it began.

I stretch my hand towards my mobile handset to see what time it is. It is 2.00 in the morning. The silence falls – that means not much damage done by this.

I always wonder about Earth. In a way, she is bound by Natural Law, Governed by unknown Forces. Who decided that the Earth should move round the Sun? Who decided that Life should evolve on the Earth? Did the Earth had her choice or she - like all of us - is just a part of the Cycle? In this way we are similar to Earth – we get what we did not ask for and we have the responsibility to carry it on well.

Sometimes I wonder that like me (and you of course), whether Earth too has a mind and an intellect along with her material existence. No, I don’t mean to say that Earthquakes happen to punish bad people, or that is the way of the Earth to take revenge. I don’t think Earth is that MEAN. It must be something like - she is trying to throw her binding in some way, maybe she is just yawning or stretching herself a bit .. who knows?

Does Earth too have a Goal to achieve? Does she have a plan to move on? Is she bothered about her destruction? Does she have hopes? Does she aim to reach somewhere? What is her destiny? Will she be destroyed one day? Then what will happen? From where she came and to where she would go? Does she experience the feelings of happiness, joy and pain? Maybe not measurable on human scale – but on HER scale? Does she speak? Does she have a language? Does she feel lonely? Does she dream? How does she face the boredom? What inspires her to carry such a burden of humanity and other species? Do they mean anything to her or not at all?

Sounds like human life ..... isn’t it?

***********

I start towards my office at 9.00 a.m. – seven hours after the Tremor.

The moment I put my feet on the ground (I live on the second floor) – I ask the Earth (speaking to oneself is a sign of madness, but I have always been that Mad!),

“Are you OK? What happened? ”

Earth smiles listlessly. But she is clearly amused.

“I am perfectly alright my child. HOW ARE YOU?” she asks smilingly.

“I am fine. That was a Quick Shake indeed,” I tell her.

Earth smiles at me. I smile at her.

I move on.

With an assurance: that in Life and in Death, the Earth is going to be with me.

I will never be alone.

My destiny is part of Her destiny, though Her destiny includes many more such tiny destinies.

We may explore it together, or we may explore it separately – but explore we will.

And where we reach is not important, how we travel is important!

To make best of what we have is the right approach to make a right beginning.

The Quick Shake clearly destroyed something in me ... and gave way for new things!

116. Bargain

“Behanjee,” (Madam), someone was calling me.

I stopped, came out of my thought processes, and looked around.

A young man, probably in his late 20s, was smiling at me.

I did not know what to make of that smile – from a stranger.

But smile always creates positive feelings and reciprocation.

So, without my knowledge, I responded with a smile.

That must have given him more courage.

“I have good caps. Purchase one,” he pleaded.

I gave a neat look. He was a roadside vendor; selling winter wear like scarf, cap, socks, gloves etc.

I nodded and was to move away; when he hurriedly added, “It is very cold. You are shivering. My caps are good. Use one and you will know that what I am saying is true.”

It was Saturday; about 1.00 in the afternoon. I was going to the bank to update passbook. Delhi winter was at its most severe form. Fog had engulfed the day and was complemented by chilly wind. The Sun was hiding all the day.

I like winter and I like fog.

Actually, I like Nature as it is. Nature has its own tune. It is fun to have something in life which is very loving but aloof from you. You can’t grasp Nature, can’t control Nature, can’t touch Nature… and still it is with you all the time – nourishing you, helping you to live happily.

So close, yet so distant!

I generally don’t complain about weather.

Don’t be surprised if I repeat myself with same zeal in summer and monsoon.

Even if my mind is young, I tend to forget that the body is aging. It needs protection not only from external environment but also from my wild mind. As the young man had rightly pointed out, I was shivering and I had hardly noticed it. Right, I needed some protective winter-wear!

“Ok, which cap is good for me?” I asked.

He showed me 4-5 different caps. I asked him to choose one for me (I am a lazy shopper!). That purchase done, he said he had woolen socks. I purchased those too.

“How much to pay?” I asked.

He calculated and told me, “One hundred and thirty rupees.”

I handed him one hundred rupee note and one fifty rupee note.

The man gave me three ten rupee notes back.

“You have to give me only twenty,” I said and gave him ten rupees back.

He did not take that money.

I thought he must have miscalculated.

He smiled mischievously.

He said, “Generally customers never pay the price we ask for. They negotiate, they bargain. But you did not ask me to reduce price. It is good to have a customer like you. So I am reducing ten rupees for you on my own.”

I was touched by his action.

Giving unasked is a virtue which you find around luckily.

And giving unasked – to a total stranger!

Being in good mood, I decided to play a little mischief.

I asked the man, “How much one would pay for these items normally, if bargained?”

He was hesitant. His smile disappeared. His eyes narrowed. A line appeared on his forehead.

I laughed. I said, “Young man, I am not going to ask you to reduce anymore. I am happy with the discount you have offered. But I am asking out of curiosity. May be next time I would bargain. So, I should know the right price range.”

He did not trust me fully. But somehow he decided to take a risk.

“Hundred rupees,” he said slowly and gave me an anxious look. He obviously feared that I was going to ask him twenty rupees back.

I smiled, little to him, more to myself and moved on.

If a young man; who is poor; can knowingly give up benefit of ten rupees – for a stranger, unasked for

Certainly, I, not poor, can knowingly give up benefit of twenty rupees; - for a stranger, though indirectly asked for!

The smile, the trust, the surprise, the fun, the experience, the joy… I had - was much more valuable than twenty rupees could buy for me anytime.

That day I had a memorable bargain. Don’t you think so?

115. Benefit of Doubt

“What is your name?” he asks.

I am little reluctant to answer that question.

Not that it is an uncommon question. I am not shy about disclosing my name.

But here I am – pressing my cell phone buttons to make a call and it is transferred to someone else. I think it is a cross-connection. But no, the unknown man claims to be from the office of Telecom Service Provider. He tells me that a process of ‘Customer Verification’ is on. Until I verify my identity, all my outgoing calls will be automatically transferred to him. In short, I have no alternative but to answer his queries.

I do not like such ‘no alternative’ situations. That tempts me to search for alternatives.

Somehow, I tell him my name.

“Tell your full name”, the man shouts from the other end.

I hesitate for a moment and then tell that too.

“Are you married?” he asks next question.

Now I feel that the person at the other end, whosoever he may be, is crossing the limits.

Question about marriage is not uncommon. If you permit me a little exaggeration, I would say that I have answered this question at least one crore times! Generally people like to ask these questions about family, education, marriage, children, job, even salary – and they don’t feel comfortable until those are answered. I don't ask such questions unless the situation demands, but accept when others ask it. I have been interacting with rural and tribal communities for more than two decades. I have to answer this question almost every day as I keep on meeting strangers. I believe in egalitarian approach and hence I accept that people have every right to ask me questions – any question they want to ask. Asking questions to others is my job: and not answering those would be authoritative. I generally trust people and don’t mind sharing ideas, thoughts, feelings, and facts of life with them. At certain times, with certain persons if I am not comfortable answering questions, I generally tell people that. I say, “Would you mind if I don’t answer this?” And every time I have said this, people have accepted my answer with smile and sensitivity.

However, answering questions face to face is different – here it was on the phone.

Answering questions of those with whom I spend some time is different – here it was not the case.

Answering questions when I too have liberty to ask questions is something different – here it was one way, which I completely dislike.

I decide it is time to be assertive.

“Sorry Mister, I don’t think this question is necessary for customer verification”, I try not to be rude, but certainly I am not polite.

“I have no means to verify that you really are from the Telecom Service Provider, so, I won’t share this information with you,” I add.

I continue, “Even if you are from the Telecom Service Provider, you can’t ask for such personal information”.

“Then I have to deactivate your connection,” the man is adamant enough to irritate me.

“You cannot deactivate my connection without a cause and without a prior notice,” now I am getting angry.

“Either you answer this question or your phone will be deactivated,” the man threatens me.

I refuse to answer.

Next minute my cell phone is deactivated. Not only Outgoing calls but Incoming too.

It is 7.30 in the evening.

For last three years I have been using BSNL CellOne. I had no issues with BSNL; it actually provided me best range in the remote areas. BSNL roaming is not that costly. When I moved to Delhi, I found DOLPHIN (BSNL in Metro cities) had a very poor range. I was not able to receive calls properly – the voice always cracked. Due to lack of good range, communication was often disrupted and hence I opted for another service provider. I was wise enough to keep on BSNL connection too. That was about one and half month ago.

The Service Provider did not send and SMS/Mail to intimate that a process of Customer Verification was to take place. Instead of calling me, they just interrupted my outgoing call, which was irritating. In addition to that the tone of the person who spoke was not cordial. And the deactivation of the phone really tested my tolerance.

I contacted the dealer from whom I had purchased this new SIM, but he was not able to offer any help. I could not do much in the night.

When a system goes wrong, it is always tempting to curse the system. However, experience has taught me that a single insensitive, irresponsible, irregular, irrational, selfish, arrogant person can make the system appear wrong and brings out all the disadvantages of the system. But one has to distinguish between an individual and a system. If the System is wrong, I fight with it. However before taking such a step I ensure that I am not equating individual with system and vice versa.

Next morning, at about 10.40 I wrote a message to the Nodal Officer (thanks to JP, for such a great help! It is funny that we have met only once but are good friends through chatting and emails – thanks to internet!). I copied the message to Customer Care (which I got from their website) and one Senior Official whom I had met couple of times in professional meetings. I explained what exactly had happened, told them that “I fully understand the need of Customer Verification”, but expressed my disillusionment with the way they did it. I added, “I feel that you are treating me as a criminal for no apparent fault of mine.” I also gave them few suggestions about ‘how to make customer verification process customer friendly’. With that I provided my residential address and workplace information for verification.

I expected that they would take at least 24 hours to sort the problem out. I was not sure that just an email would trigger any process on their part. I was planning to follow it up on phone.

To my utter surprise, and the credit must be given to the Service Provider; within an hour I received response regretting “the inconvenience caused”. There were detail instructions about reactivating mobile at my end. I followed those instructions and the connection was reactivated.

One insensitive, immature person: the system goes wrong.

One sensitive, mature person: the system works well.

I have doubts though.

Is every complaint processed with this speed? Was this attention given to me as a ‘normal’ customer? Or was it because I am associated with some ‘important’ workplace? Was it because I copied to a very senior official – whose email id (and introduction) I just happened to have!

Will they stop asking such personal questions during Customer Verification process? Will they really improve their process? Will they be more sensitive and polite?

I don’t know.

I give them a ‘Benefit of Doubt’.

We all do this – time and again.

2010 brought too many scams; we give ‘Benefit of Doubt’ to 2011 – wishing all would be well.

In fact, the system of Democracy is all about ‘Benefit of Doubt’.

Sometimes your colleagues, neighbors, people you know, friends behave in an unexpected way and you give them ‘Benefit of Doubt’.

Sometimes you are different than what you were so far, and by bringing in logic, constructing logic to justify your behavior you give yourself ‘Benefit of Doubt’

If it creates happiness, satisfaction, trust, confidence; I would prefer to give (and have) ‘Benefit of Doubt’ rather than the cold logic of rules, regulations, systems, norms and tradition.