(ही पोस्ट मराठीत इथं आहे.)
On that day I realized that for a long time I have been planning 'moments of joy'. When one is working, one has to plan leave, one has to arrange for work. Then planning the travel and stay, packing the bag .... come into picture. ‘Vanishing away’ is no longer an option for me. (Ah! Those golden days when I could disappear!) This has been my lifestyle for many years. Of course, within those planned moments, there are always surprising moments of joy.
On that evening, there was a Hindi play at a
nearby institute. I read about it on Facebook. The name of the drama was ‘Court
Martial’. I searched about it on the internet and found it interesting. Indian Express describes it as:
The play Court Martial is about a highly obedient soldier
who is found on the wrong side of the law. His actions shock the regiment and
the Army orders a court martial to investigate the actions of this soldier.
Coincidentally my friend Yamini
(name changed) called me on the same morning. She was to be in the same area
for another event. So, we decided to meet at 7.30 pm.
When I reached the venue for the play, there were already a lot of people. Many young and old were in the compound. I asked the institute staff about the exact venue for the play. There are couple of halls in this institute, so always better to get the direction in advance! The two staff members were engrossed in a video on their cell phone. They asked me to go a particular hall. When I entered the directed hall, I picked up the third-row seat. I saw some young girls in a classical dance attire. I was bit confused. But I thought that may be couple of young girls are performing before the play starts.
One old lady sitting behind me asked,
“Is your daughter or granddaughter going to dance?” Then I realized that I was
sitting in a wrong hall.
I came out again and asked the
same staff about the play. By this time their video watching was over, so they listened to me properly. Then one of them told me, “Oh! It was yesterday!” He
added, “it was little loud, but it was good.” It appears that the Facebook
account I follow had posted a wrong date.
Now I had four options. To go
home and come back to meet Yamini. But coming back seemed next to impossible.
Second option was to go home and cancel meeting Yamini. But I wanted to meet
her. We had not met for a long time; it was good opportunity to catch up. Third
option was to sit outside under a tree and wait until 7.30 pm. Unfortunately, I
was not carrying a book. And the fourth option was to attend the dance
or cultural program – whatever it was.
It sounded a bit funny. Not only
I did not know anyone of the organizers or participants, but I also did know
nothing about dance. I was not invited but had gate-crashed their event. But
there were empty seats. I sat in the last row, so that if their guests needed
seats, I could leave without disturbing the event.
It was an event organized by one
Dance School. The school specializes in Bharatnatyam.I am not providing the name of the school and
photos of the performances, because I don't think it is proper to do so.
The person anchoring the program spoke
in two languages – Marathi and English. She was fluent in both the languages. Her
anchoring was fantastic. It was poetic but clear. She did not keep on talking
but only briefly introduced each dance. It was obvious that she had prepared
well. After a long time, I was seeing someone anchoring so well. I was impressed.
Bharatnatyam is an Indian
Classical dance originated in Tamil Nadu. Even without reading about it, I
could guess this - with the kind of music being played when the event started.
The music somehow took me back to a period almost forty years ago – to
Kanyakumari. When I was in Kanyakumari, I was introduced to the singing of the
legend M.S. Subbulakshmi. The early morning devotional songs, the cool breeze, the smell of the sea, sound of high-tide sea,, the peace, the joy … it all came back to me in an instant. It is amazing
to note how our mind reacts to different stimulations.
Girls of various ages performed
on the stage. It was beautiful to watch them and appreciate their performance.
They were using the body to express and communicate to the audience. I did not
understand the words that were being sung. But the dancers’ movements and
expressions were meaningful to me. Their synchronization of movements with each
other and with the song was amazing. For a while I also envied them for being
expert in performing art. I am an ‘artless’ person and I sometimes feel bad
about it 😊
Do these dancers always feel
connected to their body? Do they find words unnecessary to communicate? How
do they build the bridges between what dance requires and what the daily life demands?
Some students were very young.
And some of them were experienced women. These older ones were actually dance
teachers. But there was no hierarchy in how they performed and the focus of the
performances. Except one, all were group performances. How much efforts the
performers and their guides must have gone through – one can only imagine.
Most of the dances were about
Shiva, Nataraja, Goddess Parvati, and Ashtalakshmi. I heard different terms
like Pushpanjali, Alarippu, Jatiswaram, Devi Kirtanam. There was also a brief
description of Raaga and Taala.
Enjoying the performance for
about ninety minutes, I had number of reflections.
The first was about how I lost
interest in Mythology. Many Indian mythological stories (like Shiva is dancing,
and Ramsetu is being built etc.) are wonderful. I used to enjoy them a lot. However,
in recent times I have lost all connection to these mythological stories. Why?
Because nowadays ritual have taken control of everything. In my world, in the
world around me, the innocence of celebrating festivals (with love, with joy, with connecting communities around) has vanished. It is
more of being “proud of being born in a certain religion”, it is about “us
versus them” and so on …. It does not suit my disposition. So, I have distanced myself from these
festivals. But it is time I go to the mythology again.
Another reflection is: you don’t
have to belong to some group/community to be able to enjoy and appreciate. If
there is something good happening, one can always feel positive. One can laugh
well with strangers too. One can enjoy with strangers too.
I always feel that I am thrown in this world (like I was in that event hall) without knowing anyone. I don’t belong here. It is not my home. I am here just for a while. I am not going to carry anything from here. Hence I have no bonds. I have no chains. I have no attachments.
At the same time, there are people, places, mountains, rivers, sky, ….. who are part of me. They have enriched me. Without them I won’t be who I am. As long as I remember, within me both these contrary aspects ‘live happily with each other’. 😀
I have always found avenues to enjoy.
to smile; to have fun; to experience and express emotions. Without any formal
label for these connections, I have always been connected. There have been many
strong connections throughout - some temporary, some long lasting. It is never about whether ‘to be or not to be’; it is more
like ‘be and be not’.
After some time, it was time to
call my friend. I silently left the venue – without saying goodbye to anyone,
without giving explanation to anyone. No one noticed I was there and no one
noticed that I left. Perfect. That one and half hour was a kind of summary of
my life. Have fun, carry nothing, leave. May be in real life I am one of the performers at times – definitely
not Bharatnatyam performer 😊
Another reflection point is -
Planning is good. But that does not necessarily mean unplanned is bad. There
can be joy even in accidental experiences. There can be joy even with
strangers. One has to be always open to new possibilities. One has to be open
to new opportunities. New experiences count. New people enrich us.
“Accidental Joy” happens. It
might be waiting for us at the next corner. The ‘accident’ of entering into a
wrong event not only gave me moments of unfiltered joy but also gave me
opportunity to reflect and realize.
This was great.
What else do I need?
Nothing!
