128. Context

Since coming to Delhi, I have to often visit two offices which are just next to two different Metro stations. These two Metro stations Patel Chowk and Central Secretariat are nearby – they are actually adjacent stations. Initially when I had to go from one place to the other place, I travelled by Metro. Considering my poor knowledge of directions and map illiteracy – it was the safest and time saving options.

Even though I traveled by Metro; It meant a lot of walking within both the stations. One has to get ‘down’ in the Patel Chowk station (as it is an underground station), go through security check, walk a couple of minutes, and then again climb down towards the platform. The women’s coach is at the other end, so again walk on the platform for couple of minutes. The same procedure is necessary to be repeated at Central Secretariat – here only difference is climbing up twice to come out of station and walk for another five to seven minutes to reach the destination. Overall, I walk for 10 to 12 minutes and Metro journey is just a couple of minutes. But as I like to walk and it was the most convenient way for me, I traveled by Metro.

Sometime in November, one of my colleagues asked me how I travelled from one of these to the other place. When I explained that I travel by Metro, everybody around laughed. I asked for explanation. Then I was told that the walking distance between the two offices was just about 10 minutes; and everybody asked, “Why don’t you just walk and reach instead of walking in both the Metro stations? You are walking almost the same distance and also spending additional money. ”

Leaving aside the money argument, I could see the joke and asked one of my colleagues to draw a map for me. With the help of the map, I walked for months. Indeed it was like taking a walk in your backyard. During winter this walk was energetic as I could get few Sunrays. I also came to know about other landmarks and bus routes while walking. This was one of the best walks to have even at 2.00 in the afternoon.

Yesterday, I was leaving one office and the same colleague asked me how I was going to another office. “Oh, I will just walk” I said carelessly.

Now everybody laughed again. I could not see the joke. My sense of humor seems to be limited!! I asked for explanation. Everybody said, “Are you mad? You want to walk at 2.00 in the afternoon? Do you know what the temperature is outside? This is Delhi my dear, don’t take anything for granted.” (As if other cities allow you to take them for granted!!)

Well, fortunately I am healthy enough to walk for 10 minutes even in the Delhi summer – I also have lot of experience of walking in the afternoons. Of course, I did not say any such thing, I just said, “But it is only 10 minutes and is very convenient; so, no problem.”

“Why don’t you take a Metro? It is foolish to walk when there is Metro. Don’t try to save money” said someone.

And I traveled by Metro yesterday.

When I was walking I had justification ‘to walk’, when I am taking a ‘metro ride’, I have justification for that too!

Now, it was my time to smile.

It is amazing to note how my actions and desires change when the context changes. The two places remain at the same point, the walking distance is the same – but sometimes I choose to walk and some other times I choose to travel by Metro. Funniest part is – for both these apparently contradictory actions, I have justification.

If I treat action as the goal and remain attached to it – then problem arrives. Walking in Delhi summer afternoon is not a goal – reaching a destination is the goal. To achieve the purpose; means will vary according to the situation. What works in one situation would be probably useless in another situation.

But what if goal too changes? What if tomorrow ‘walking for 10 minutes in Delhi in the summer afternoon’ is the goal? Then I might have to continue with the oddest of the actions! If the goal is weird, the actions have to be strange enough! (Not that this is my goal - I already have enough weird goals!!)

Goal is the context.

Situation is the Context. Lot depends on what resources I have.

Choice of Means is the Context. Lot depends on what actions I choose to reach wherever I want to reach.

But does the Context really change as I assume?

It dawns upon me that there is only ONE context.
It could be termed as instinct of Survival!
It could be named as instinct of Happiness!
To be honest, Selfishness is the only context with which I live and I move.

127. Constant in Change

This is not my first visit to Bangalore.

Actually I have special affection for Bangalore!

Hmm.. I know I can say the same about almost all the places I have visited and stayed. It might be Saint Louis or Dagadpada (a tribal village in Gujarat); it might be Ottawa or Shiv (a small place in Rajasthan). I love places and I develop special relationship with the places I come across.

However, Bangalore is special amongst specials. I came here long back in 1981 or so. It was my first visit to another state. It was my first overnight train journey. Till then I could never imagine how people could sleep ‘in the train’. It was my first exposure to another regional language. It was my first experience of being amongst the strangers. It was my first acquaintance of social organization. And so on...

Over the years, I kept visiting Bangalore – for different reasons; by different means; to different places within the city and the state; with different purposes; with different people. I have different stories about the city. I have different memories of Bangalore.

********

Presently I am here for a reason. I am going to visit different places within the city and the state. I am going to meet different people – I have not met anyone of them before and I am going to spend next four days with them. That excites me, that create interest in me; that makes me wonder; that makes me smile, that awakens me to uncertainty and that ignites spirit of adventure in me.

******

And last week I met many different people. I stayed at a different place. I had my morning walks on different streets. I interacted with different people. I ate different food (when one lives in North India – Karnataka food makes a difference!!). I learnt few more Kannada words.

This experience makes me think – I am not sure whether the thinking is different or I am thinking the same way all these years.

My purpose has changed. My teams have changed. My means too have changed. My contacts and connections in the city have changed. Those who are friends today were not there few years ago; and those who were the people whom I met in the city are no more in my life. The old connections are lost and new connections replace them.

The city has changed. I have changed. But the relationship does not seem to have changed. I am still the same person who wants to know more about the city. Bangalore is still the same place who keeps on surprising me and entertains me. It is still the same place which makes me feel comfortable and which gives me moments of solitude. This is still the city which triggers me; motivates me to make on an inward journey.

What is that thread which still connects me and Bangalore?

What is that about Bangalore that still amuses me?

What is that which makes this connection meaningful for me?

What is there that remains intact throughout these changes?

What has remained constant in all the apparent change in me and in Bangalore?

Is it me? Or is it Bangalore? Or is it both?

126. Role Reversal

Traveling by Air Conditioned compartment or train is not an option I enjoy – especially when I am traveling towards a new area. But this was a routine travel – watching scenes through window was tagged with dust, cold wind, sporadic rain etc. So, I had accepted the AC ticket without grumbling.

But when I entered the compartment I was happy like a child; realizing that I had a window seat. Now next few hours I would not need a book – I could just sit, watch and relax. In 3X2 seats arrangement, I had the last seat in the row of 3, which was the only problem. Every joy comes with some problem, ‘better not to taint the joy’, I told myself once again!

However this window dream was over within next few minutes, when a young man – 17 or 18 years approached me. He asked, “Aunty, would you please mind giving up your window seat?”

This is what generally happens to me. I hardly get window seats, lower berth and whenever I get those, someone makes a request. Generally when someone requests you something, there is always a reason. People are generally reasonable. So, I smiled and moved to the aisle seat.

What surprised me was there was no young brother or sister following the young man (for whom he might have made the request I thought) but his grandfather, who might be 70+. The boy carefully held his grandpa’s hand, made him occupy the window seat, confirmed that he was comfortable. Then the young man smiled at me and said, “Grandpa likes the window seat, so I requested you. Thank you so much aunty.”

I smiled and then pulled a book from the bag and started reading.

However, the grandson-grandfather conversation attracted my attention. I could not concentrate on reading. So, closed my eyes and tried to have a power nap.

“Are you ok? Now don’t make movements. Seat comfortably. Would you like to eat something? No, not that Vadaa Paava – that would be bit spicy for you. I have something in Tiffin for you. Ok, let us ask the vendor if there is something else….” The conversation was amusing because all this was said by the young man to the old one.

Then the grandpa asked for music. The grandson switched on his mobile. He turned to me and said, “I am really sorry aunty, but this has to be little loud. Grandpa cannot hear properly until I put it full volume.” I smiled and said, “Never mind young man.”

After few minutes, the grandpa wanted to talk to his son (the boy’s father) and complained to him about the grandson not allowing him eating the food he cherished. The father must have spoken something to the son; the son tried to explain and then smiled. He assured the grandpa that next time the vendor comes he would have Vadaa-Paava.

The grandson asked him to drink tea, made him eat biscuits, asked him to take a nap, reminded him of going to the toilets.. ..everything that generally an elder would do for a child. I was amazed with the sensitivity of the boy, the tremendous sense of responsibility he was showing and the love he had for his grandfather. The grandpa was apparently enjoying all the attention.

When the grandpa had a little nap, the boy and I spoke to each other for a while. The young boy was telling me, “Old age is like a returned childhood. When I was young, I used to trouble grandpa a lot. I never listened to him and always made him run after me. To look after me was physically tiring and mentally stressful for him. Whatever he offered to me, I was never satisfied and always demanded something else. My grandpa loved me and never complained. Now it is my time to take care of him.. and I am happy to have this opportunity. Our roles have just reversed, that is the only change, and everything else remains the same!”

Role Reversal – that were the exact words I was thinking about. How we can take those ‘Role Reversal’ moments when they actually arrive – makes us happy or unhappy. Role Reversal is not easy – it means giving up power, giving up authority, giving up center-stage etc. Role Reversal also means – taking up power, owning and using authority, being responsible, being able to take decisions, being at the center and all that. What we do today gives way for tomorrow – so one should not be surprised with the change of times. To play our Role perfectly today will automatically prepare us for the Role Reversal. Maybe that is the way of Nature to show us ‘FULL’ circle of life!

*

125. Evenings @ Jantar Mantar

From India Gate we return to Jantar Mantar. We are instructed to walk without ‘slogans’. Not exactly Silent March, only no Slogans. I appreciate the wisdom of the organizers. They realize that people are tired. During our March towards India Gate earlier, we had innumerable slogans. Today it is not Candle March but ‘Plate and Spoon’ March – so that the government can hear the ‘voice of people’.

For last 45 minutes we have nonstop chanting of “Vande Maataram”. “Inquilaab Zindaabaad” and “Bhaarat Maataa kee Jay” are the two other popular slogans. One slogan that makes everyone smile is “Sonia Jisakee Mummy Hai, Vaha Sarkaar Nikammee Hai”. Not only youngsters but middle aged women and men are enthusiastically participating in the Protest March.

But as now there are no slogans, people are talking amongst themselves. I am walking alone. I have no one specific to talk to. So I overhear many conversations – to my left and right, behind me, in front of me – everywhere. It is all “off camera”. People do not know that I am listening to them.

A group of college students. One boy says,”You know, this is for the first time I am participating in a Protest March. Always watched in on TV and U Tube. I am feeling great about this.”

One of his friends must have smiled. Because the same voice asks, “Why are you smiling? I am not joking.”

His friend responds, “You talk about Protest March. As far as I remember, this is for the first time I am walking on the road for such a long time. Feeling good about it. There must be many people who have to walk daily. I am trying to imagine their life.”

There is another group of young boys and girls.

One boy emotionally says,”You know, this old man has no family.”

“What do you mean?” asks a girl.

“We all are his family,” argues another boy with fervor.

“Listen yaar! I am saying that he has no grandson, son, daughter, land, estate etc. to take care of. He is not fighting for himself. He is doing it for us – so that we live a better life” – the first boy explains.

“You never said a better thing than this,” his colleagues appreciate him.

And there is another group.

A girls says,”WC celebration was best, but this is bestest.”

“Why?” her friends want to know.

“Actual cricket is played by Sachin, Yuvi, MS, Zak, Gauti, Bhajji and others. We celebrate their victory, but our contribution is zero in that. But here we are actually contributing to a national cause,” she explains.

“Don’t forget that those 300 people on hunger strike are the real contributors. We are just walking,” a down to earth fellow reminds them.

“Sure, they are the real heroes. But we are also doing a squirrels’ job. This is a memorable moment of my life,” someone adds and everybody agrees – even the down to earth fellow!

One more group.

“Let us join Jail Bharo on 13^th,” a girl suggests.

“What if they really put us in Jail? Will the police beat us? Will the college rusticate us?” another girl is certainly frightened.

“Come on yaar! Police will do nothing of that sort. There would be thousands of people – more than the jails can accommodate!” one boy explains.

Another boy motivates the group, “We have read about Bhagat Sing and other freedom fighters. They died for us. Now this is our time, our moment, and our responsibility. Let us not run away.”

“Yes, we will do it” they all say in one voice.

I see a middle aged woman walking alone. I speak to her. She is overwhelmed by the presence of youngsters – their number as well as their enthusiasm. She adds, “I appreciate and enjoy this atmosphere. Delhi crowds almost always misbehave with women. But here they are taking care of girls and women. If someone touches or pushes by mistake, he immediately says “sorry” and he means it. This is how a good cause, a good environment changes people.”

I completely agree with her. As you all know, at Jantar Mantar veteran social activist Anna Hajare along with hundreds of volunteers is (was) on fast unto death demanding Jan Lokpal Bill. I am in the midst of crowds; all unknown faces; for hours in the evenings. I don’t at all feel insecure even at 10.00 in the night. There is such a “feel good” wave around. This is a different Delhi altogether than I have experienced so far.

***********

A lot has been written about and a lot more would be written about: Anna Hajare, Lokpal and Jan Lokpal; Role of Civil Society and Parliament; Core Group of Jantar Mantar; How Government read the situation wrongly; How people from all walks of life participated spontaneously; Gandhiji’s way of Satyagraha; How people have lost trust in politicians; Strategies of this movement; Media Campaign; Institutionalization of democratic processes etc.The discussion and debate has begun.

*******

I would be guilty of telling you half truth unless I share the other side of this rosy picture.

People gather in large numbers at Jantar Mantar to support hundreds on hunger strike. And what do they (at least some of them) do?

After shouting few slogans and capturing themselves in digital cameras, they turn to food stalls. They shamelessly consume food. They are here to support people on hunger strike; can’t they control their hunger for few hours? What do they mean by support?

The food stall garbage bins are overflowing. Nobody cares about maintaining hygiene surrounding the people on hunger strike. This dirt might increase health risks – but nobody is bothered about it. The volunteers must be working overnight to clean the area – is it their job?

Almost everyone has a camera. Many are engaged in capturing only themselves. Will they still come if cameras are not allowed?

Slogan shouting has become an unquestionable and the only symbol of patriotism. Even while Anna Hajare is speaking to journalists (open press conference), the slogan brigade can’t keep quiet. Organizers request crowd to make a way for carrying (on stretcher) a seriously ill person on hunger strike. A young man shouts, “Bhaarat Maataa kee...” I tap him on shoulder and tell him what the announcement is. He says “sorry” and walks away. If he can’t shout, he is not interested.

One group is shouting “Man Mohan Sing, Bhaarat Chodo” – without understanding the fact that the Prime Minister is as much Indian as they are. Another slogan says, “Bhrashtaachaariyonko Golee Maaro”. When some of us respond to it by saying, “let us not use violent language. Non violence is the fundamental principle of this movement”; the group moves away in another direction.

Some youths are throwing empty water bottles on the road and have to be reminded that garbage bins are to be used.

A journalist accuses Anna Hajare of ‘blackmailing the government.” She clearly lacks common sense. To make such a baseless accusation with so much of confidence; in front of thousands of supporters is not wise. The crowd spontaneously hoots at her; does not allow her to complete the sentence. It is another matter that Anna Hajare answers her question. Agreed, journalists are not Gods. But the behavior of the crowd cannot be justified. What kind of society we want to build, where we are not ready to even listen?

******

I have some doubts about the spontaneous mass participation.

Is it another kind of mass hysteria? Instead of “Sachin, Sachin” now the whole nation seems to be shouting “Anna Hajare, Anna Hajare”. There is the same madness of making Anna Hajare into a kind of God, but we would abuse him any moment. The cause of the fight is superficially understood – as if it in only the responsibility of the old man! People seem to think that Jan Lokpal Bill magically would change everything overnight! That is such a distance from reality! For many it seems of another kind of entertaining event; something to get excited about; something to discuss.

Joining “India Against Corruption” movement is very easy. Give a ‘missed call’ (no expenditure for you), click a button on Facebook or Twitter and you belong to the movement. If you can come to Jantar Mantar or any other spot and join a Candle March- well and good. I did all this and understood the hollowness of it. I found that this was the easiest way of contributing, becoming a part of history making epoch. However experience has taught me that ‘to belong’ to some idea, to some cause is much more demanding. It is not an easy path. You cannot commit to a cause without giving your comforts, your luxuries. You cannot change the society without changing yourselves first. But here it was all very easy. It is not just a matter of participation but matter of life values. What values the crowds have when they support this movement?

If it turns out to be a real fight, will the numbers sustain? Will the enthusiasm remain? Would the unity be visible? (As it is there are obvious fractions in the movement!). The police force was alert but not harassing. If State decides to handle the situation with violent means (thankfully it did not happen this time); will the leadership be able to motivate people to resist in non-violent way? What if things don’t remain easy and long term battle is required? What if we have to really renounce, to give up something to contribute?

Time will answer these questions.

*********

This very crowd was in “One Day Maataram” mode few days ago. The shift from “One Day Maataram” to “Vande Maataram” is appallingly overwhelming. I feel joyous about it. I feel proud about it. I feel encouraged.

For a moment I leave those ugly moments behind, ignore them for a while. And I remember hundreds of inspiring moments. The “off camera” glimpses speak volumes about the strength, determination, commitment and courage of nameless and faceless citizens. What they need is trustworthy, honest and creative leadership. Will it happen?

Will the paradigm shift remain with us? Will the commitment infuse enthusiasm in us? Will the sense of duty and responsibility prevail? Will the sensitivity and responsiveness sustain? Though I am not blindly euphoric about it, the evenings at Jantar Mantar have certainly enhanced my optimism. I never believed in ‘India Shining’ propaganda. But I guess India is certainly awakening again. That is what evenings at Jantar Mantar promise me.

*

124. Journey

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 19; the nineteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

(1)

While reaching Delhi’s Indira Gandhi Airport Terminal No 3 to catch Pune flight, Abhijeet is stressed. He never has the right idea of when to start for airport; because he never understands how much time it will take for him to reach. After the formality of Security Check, when he enters the lounge, the flight delay announcement welcomes him!

However, Abhijeet has no option but to wait. He has a cup of coffee, finds an easy chair and with stretched legs opens the book gifted by Paromita. He is stunned by the line which is carefully marked by Paromita. It says, “Surely, this comes of wandering and ‘t is the curse of inquiring spirit!” It is definitely Paromita’s work; she has penciled two words, “attention here” – it is clearly her handwriting.

Abhijeet glances at the cover. The book is ‘Shaving of Shagpat’. The author is George Meredith. Abhijeet feels irritated and angry. But he also is surprised. Why has Paromita given him this particular book? Why she underlined these words? He browses the book for more such marks, but there are none. Is she accusing him of wandering? Or is she referring to her wandering? Does she expect stability in their relationship? What exactly does she mean? He is not sure.

Abhijeet closes the book and thinks about George Meredith’s statement.

By no means can Abhijeet be labeled as a wanderer – yes, he moves a lot, but that is with purpose, which is part of his job. Right from childhood, Abhijeet has always set himself clear goals to achieve. While entering from Primary to Secondary school, he aimed at getting admission to a school known for admitting only limited students with very high IQ; he had that. During the transition from school to college, he aimed to opt for Science stream (which meant a good score in the board examinations) and he did that. The next goal was to study in Indian Institute of Technology followed by Indian Institute of Management – which he did with flying colors. The luxury of the high profile job (with one of the World Mining Giant) he enjoys today is a cumulative effort of all the hard work he had put to achieve those goals.

However, Abhijeet always has been attracted towards wandering. The term ‘Wandering Monk’ to describe Swami Vivekananda’s travel caught his attention first when he was in school. A youth called Narendra Datta transformed into ‘Warrior Monk’ through the Wandering throughout the country was a miracle. Then he also has read about the Prince Gautama wandering and attaining ‘Bodhi’ – thus becoming ‘Buddha’. And who can forget that young monk traveling length and breadth of the country not once but four times and becoming one of the greatest teachers for humanity - Shankaracharya! All the three people walked, they did not have luxury travel, but they had glimpses of life, which one cannot have in the airline travel. And the Africa returned Barrister Mohandas Karmchand Gandhi traveling through the country by railway and becoming Father of the Nation!

In all these cases, the transformation seems to have come through wandering, through hardships, through interaction, through realization, through giving up comforts of life. All these people seem to have attained peace through wandering! They not only achieved peace, but achieved a purpose of life, they motivated others, and they in the process became ‘icon’ for millions! Then why is Meredith objecting to wandering? – Abhijeet thinks. “You are wrong, Mr. Meredith. The inquiring spirit always leads to peace and happiness. Only thing is you don’t know that.” Abhijeet says to himself.

Abhijeet of course knows that the wandering does not necessarily have to be physical. He has read enough of ancient Indian literature to understand the subtlety of wandering, the subtlety of journey. He remembers Nachiketa’s travel to the abode of Lord of Death (Kathopanishad). Abhijeet recalls Savitree’s travel with the Lord of Death. There is an interesting narration of Bhrigu, the son of Varuna making a wonderful journey to understand BRAHMAN. Bhrigu did not wander outwardly; he sat at one place but what an inward journey he made. The story interestingly says that when Bhrigu realizes that Bliss is Brahman, he does not come back to his Father. (Taittiriya Upnishad). Kenopanishad starts with the question ‘by whom’ (केन) and it describes journey of different Gods in the pursuit of Realization. None of these journeys are physical; mostly they are at a very subtle level. All these journeys end in peace, happiness, satisfaction, purpose.

(2)

Abhijeet comes out of his trance due to sudden mobile ring. For a moment he wishes that let it be Paromita. But it is Vinay.

“Bad news Abhi”, Vinay’s tone is very sad.
“What is it Vinay? Are you ok? Any problem?” dozens of questions flash through Abhijeet’s mind.

“Kale Sir passed away today morning. He was in the hospital for a week. He was wounded in one of the tribal protest marches. Couple of days ago, he was remembering you. He was talking about some promise you had given to him. I tried to call, but you must be traveling, I realized.” Vinay explains.

Abhijeet does not know what to react on this.

“What was that promise about?” – Vinay breaks the silence by asking awkwardly.
“Oh! Nothing of any consequence to Kale Sir anymore,” Abhijeet tries to cool down Vinay.

“You know Abhi, you killed Kale Sir,” Vinay’s accusation stings Abhijeet. His heart burns.
“But Vinay…” he tries to explain.
“You and your bloody Mining Company! We will not forgive you Abhi, we never will ….” Vinay disconnects abruptly.

Abhijeet blankly looks at the cell phone. For a moment he thinks of calling Mr. Bhattacharya – the Maharashtra Company in-charge. But only in the meeting last week, the Maharashtra team has presented ‘All clear, everything under control’ picture. Abhijeet sighs. His sudden interest in Mr. Kale the activist would raise eyebrows of the Management. He does not want any more accusing calls. He switches off the mobile.

(3)

Abhijeet feels like crying. He feels helpless, he feels lonely. Kale Sir was not very old, might be around 60. He was physically and mentally active. He was mentor to so many youngsters like Abhijeet and he was friend of tribal communities too. Abhijeet realizes that now when he reaches Pune, there would be no Kale Sir to meet, no more appreciation, no more advice, no more ideological discussion. He remembers Kale Sir’s politeness, his love, his concerns, the price he had paid for his values.

And yes, the promise! Abhijeet feels guilty when he remembers that discussion with Kale Sir. When did it happen? About five years ago. And Abhijeet has not met Kale Sir after that discussion. No doubt he is always busy, but for the first time Abhijeet realizes that he had purposely avoided Kale Sir for the last five years. He has hardly been in contact with his friend circle associated with Kale Sir. They invited Abhijeet for number of meetings and events, but Abhijeet never was free.

Abhijeet still remembers that Sunday. He was in the clouds after receiving the offer letter from the Mining Giant. He touched feet of Kale Sir and in a beaming voice told him, “Sir, Mission Accomplished.” Kale Sir smiled. However, when he heard the name of the Mining Company, his happiness vanished. He slowly walked back, sat in chair. In a moment he looked very weak, shattered to the core. Abhijeet wondered about the sudden change.

“Abhijeet you are intelligent. Now you are grown up, no more a boy, so you don’t need my advice,” Abhijeet was terrified with this statement of Kale Sir. Why was he not happy? If Kale Sir is not appreciating, does it mean that the choice was fundamentally wrong?

“No Sir, I always look forward to your advice. Is it wrong to accept this offer? But it has so much potential. Do you have some other ideas for me?” Abhijeet was again a 10 year old boy mesmerized by the goodness and wisdom and love Kale Sir showed to all his students.

Kale Sir slowly walked to his desk. He pulled a file from the drawers. He handed the file to Abhijeet. There were number of newspaper cuttings in the file. Abhijeet’s eyes moved from page to page. It was a disgusting news – news covering how poor people were forced into some action they did not want to participate, how the poor were exploited, how the police force and government machinery was ruthless to the tribal population. Abhijeet’s palms were sweating, his eyes became misty, and he could not read further. He looked at the offer letter in his hand – the same Company name appeared hundreds of times on those pages – as the ruthless Mining Company against poor! He looked helplessly at Kale Sir.

Kale Sir was thoughtful. He knew he could influence Abhijeet’s decision. However, he always had a belief in self –decision; he never liked to force people. Kale Sir knew by experience that a person taking decisions by his/her conscious choice is much more determined and inspired- than working under some kind of force, even moral force! Kale Sir also thought that a sensitive person like Abhijeet might be able to influence the policies of the Company – not to a great extent though Abhijeet was highly intelligent and had the tag of IIT and IIM – but even small changes would lead to big changes.

Kale Sir smiled. He came near Abhijeet, patted him on the back. He said, “Abhi, this is one of your life chance, so, I won’t ask you to give up, not before trying, not before exploring,” – Abhijeet heaved a sigh of relief when the meaning of the sentence reached him.

“However “Kale Sir continued, “I want a promise from you.”

“What is it Sir?” Abhijeet politely asked. If Kale Sir wants some donation for the organization he is involved in – he could manage that.

“Abhi, take your time. Try to establish yourself and I am sure you will do a good job. But after a certain time if you are convinced that the Company is working against the Poor – would you cease to be on the side of those who exploit? Would you walk off the comforts? Can you give me this promise?”

“Certainly Sir, It is my promise. I think one year is enough time to understand. I will come back to you after one year Sir,” Abhijeet promised.

Kale Sir smiled again. He added, “Abhi, realization has no timeframe – it happens in a moment. Be open to that moment of realization. Don’t shut down yourself because you have decided to take a specific path. There are always other roads and other journeys that one can choose and enjoy. Do not sell your soul to anyone - that is the promise I want from you.” Abhijeet nodded though he only partially understood what Kale Sir meant.

After a cup of tea Abhijeet walked out of that home never to return.

Abhijeet was away from the city for last 7-8 years and was not aware of the developments that had taken place around Kale Sir’s life. But he got it from Vinay, Nishant, Paromita and the gang - Kale Sir was involved in a mighty struggle with the Mining Company Abhijeet was going to work with. This made Abhijeet feel guilty for a while. But at the same time he decided that he will never discuss his relations with Kale Sir in the Company. Pune is big enough city to pretend that you don’t know someone you don’t want to know.

(4)

Initially Abhijeet was caught in a dilemma – every time he was in the ‘big’ meetings, the newspaper cuttings flashed in front of his eyes. But the Company always had 'other' stories. The CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) head took the new recruits under his wing. They were showed the mobile health unit, the Anganwadi food program, the support for income generation activities by Self Help Groups of women, the training for the youth ….

Abhijeet was overwhelmed by the amount of good activities the Company was doing. The Company was spending billions of rupees annually for the affected areas. He noted that once he should invite Kale Sir and show him all that good work of Company. And there was a bigger question too – that of development. This country needs industrial development, it will make us self-reliant, it will boost economy, and it will create so many new jobs. Environment concerns? Never mind, we will plant millions of trees, we take all precautionary measures. Agricultural land? It was rain fed and the land was not very fertile. The Tribal, whose land is acquired in the area are being paid loads of money and they can live happily hereafter. And anyways, the tribal also do not want to stay in the forest, don’t they need better amenities? The argument was right too.

Slowly the routine overtook. The targets, the deadlines, the media campaign, the meetings with various government machineries, the work with local NGOs, briefing journalists… so much needed to be done. Company provided all the facilities – you name it and it was there. The Company campus was much more luxurious and comfortable than home! Abhijeet joined the game fully. He enjoyed evolving strategies to counter opposition. His marketing skills were asset to the Company – Abhijeet could sell any idea with his wit, charm, politeness, flexibility, knowledge - he could easily win people to his side.

Abhijeet went on the ladder fast. Now he could not return back to Kale Sir. He has met many people like Kale Sir and he was convinced that they are fighting a lost battle. Abhijeet wanted to be on the Winning Side. If at all he leaves this Mining Giant, he will go to another bigger Company, on a better package and designation.

(5)

This sudden news of Kale Sir’s death has shaken Abhijeet completely. Kale Sir was a middle class person staying in a city. What had he to do with Tribal communities? But Kale Sir had a tremendous sense of justice, human rights, equity. It was Kale Sir, with whom he had visited Tribal hamlets and understood what poverty means. It was with Kale Sir that he had understood ecological balance. It was with Kale Sir that Abhijeet learnt ill effects of Capitalism. It was with Kale Sir that he had experienced generous hospitality of the poor. It was while moving with Kalre Sir he had discovered that preliminary knowledge of Sanskrit helped him to understand many Indian languages.

What took him away from Kale Sir? When and why did he choose another path? When did their roads separate? What were his attractions? How could he forget the suffering millions ? How could he forget the oath taken on Sinhgadha to work for the society? How could he take himself away from his best friends like Vinay and Nishant? How could he find happiness in materialistic affluence? Why did not Kale Sir directly ask him ‘not to accept the job with this Company’? Why did Kale Sir not force him into the activities he was doing?

Abhijeet smiles to himself. He realizes that he is trying to put the blame on Kale Sir for no reason. It was Abhijeet’s choice and he can’t escape the price of his choice.

Abhijeet keeps on thinking. Flight is announced. Abhijeet boards. He feels alienated. What is he doing here? Does he need such a luxury in life – the cost of which is being paid by the poor? Can he still go back? Can he give up these comforts, name, fame, money? Is he ready to wander in search of a purpose? Is he ready to repay the debt of Kale Sir and of the society at large?

What about Aai –Baabaa? (Mother and Father) They would actually be happy if Abhijeet resigns from this Company. They have not been comfortable about it. Aai even once tried to convince him to give up the job. Baabaa never says anything but is hardly proud of Abhijeet’s achievement. They never use Abhijeet’s money. Till today Abhijeet never bothered about it – he labeled it as Generation Gap.

Abhijeet’s eyes again become misty. His parents, his Kale Sir, his friends.. everybody gave him the freedom to exercise his choice. He made a wrong choice, but they did not give up hope. He realizes that they all are waiting for him to come back, to explore another way of living. Abhijeet realizes that to be on the 'right side' is much more important than to be on the 'winning side'!

(6)

Abhijeet needs to take Parmonita into confidence. If she wants to move away from him, he will have to accept it. It is only 5.00 in the morning. Should he call Paromita now? No, it would be better to send a text message.

Abhijeet texts her: “Going on a new journey.”

To his utter surprise, Paromita replies “I am ready.”

Abhijeet wonders, why Paromita is awake at these early hours. Then he remembers that the death of Kale Sir must have shattered Paromita too. Did she expect this message from him? At this hour? Is she expecting this particular decision from him? He has never asked any question to Paromita but has assumed certain things. But he knows that assumptions and guesses can all go wrong.

Abhijeet texts again, “Submitting resignation today. Would meet Vinay and others at about 10.00. Usual place.”

Paromita texts back, “Glad to be with you.”

Paromita again. “Welcome back Abhi. I was looking forward to this moment. Will do this journey together and am all excited about it.”

Abhijeet knows that he does not have to say Bollywood hero style “I love you” to Paromita. He does not have to ask the stereotypical question of “I want to marry you, would you?” to her. This is the journey they have already decided through their golden silence.

Abhijeet feels very light. He regrets that he should have taken the decision earlier so that Kale Sir would have been delighted. But what is done can’t be un-done. The greatest tribute one needs to pay to the dead is through action.

He comes out of the room. The reddish Sun is glowing in the east. Birds are chirping. Breeze is cool. Sky is light blue. Trees are dancing. The road is empty. It is Peace, Silence and Bliss everywhere – outside as well as inside.

A journey has to be made; howsoever difficult it may sound. One cannot reach the destination without making a journey. One cannot have the purpose achieved without making a journey. Abhijeet is all ready for this exciting journey – back to his roots.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

123. Stranger

Vivek comes to my desk at about 1.30 in the afternoon.

“Did you have your lunch?” he asks.

As the canteen is always crowded till 1.45, I generally go for lunch at about 2.00 – though many times when I reach there, the canteen has no food to serve.

“Not yet, I am just going.” I answer.

Vivek is my new teammate. Actually to call anyone ‘teammate’ here is making mockery of the words ‘team’ and ‘mate’. Everyone here is like a self declared leader. ‘Divide and Rule’ is one of the most used Management Skills even in NGO sector. Managers are happy as long as their subordinates are not a good team. Managers always play games with teams so that everybody feels insecure and unnecessarily competitive. People foolishly fall in that trap. In a way subordinates deserve this treatment. So, Vivek and I, though working together are not really a team, in the sense I perceive a team!

“Come, let us go for lunch, I am hungry,” Vivek urges me.

Now I am in a bit of dilemma. Vivek is by no means my friend. He is at most my colleague. If we are traveling together for official work then eating together and chatting together happens – because there are no alternatives. But in my own city, to have lunch with someone like Vivek (and that too alone) is not a very comfortable idea.

However, I cannot say ‘no’ to what Vivek is suggesting.

I am hungry. The restaurant Vivek is suggesting serves delicious food – that is one temptation. Vivek is not a complete stranger to me. He is a decent man. So far, I have not observed anything objectionable about and in him. We are not friends, but we are not enemies also. Saying ‘no’ would be unreasonable.

“Come on, what are you thinking about? Now don’t waste time in opening your wallet, I have money enough, let us go,” Vivek is almost dragging me out.

I decide to go.

We walk. We talk – little bit of office gossip, little bit of personal stuff. I ask him questions about his first language – which I am trying to learn through internet (that sounds funny, I know!). He suggests me few books. We talk about weather. We talk about traffic.

The restaurant is crowded as usual. We wait. We get a table. We order. We eat. We chat. We walk back.

All this while, I have a very strange feeling.

It is not for the first time that I am eating with someone whom I do not know much. I am known for chatting with strangers, spending time with strangers, taking interest in life of strangers, showing affection towards strangers etc. Many of my friends are worried about my capacity to be close to strangers. They feel that by close conversations with strangers I open myself to unforeseen risks. But I have always enjoyed interactions with strangers.

Here is Vivek, who is not a complete stranger to me. We are together in various discussions, meetings, planning, review etc. But I am not relaxed as I usually am. I am feeling bit weird. Why?

I remember German Sociologist Georg Simmel’s writing on this concept called Stranger. (http://www.infoamerica.org/documentos_pdf/simmel01.pdf)

And I wonder. When do people become known and cease to be strangers? Is it like crossing a line? What does this ‘crossing line’ indicate and entail? How does it evolve? Does time play important role in this phenomenon?

While coming back I am thinking about many people, many places, and many ideas which were once very close to me, with whom I was completely comfortable – but now they have become strangers to me and I have become a stranger to them. When and why do people cease to be close and become strangers? Why the places lose their charm and make you a stranger in the midst of the crowd? The ideas for which once I used to work hard, are now alien to me and new ideas replace them.

I wonder again – What triggers this process? Is it more of an external (worldly) process? If you don’t spend life together or don’t spend enough time together then you automatically become strangers? Or it is more of an inner (psychological) process? I mean you realize that your ideas differ, your values differ, your attitude to life differs, your responses differ and then you move away and become strangers again? Why this change happens? Where does this lead us?

Sometimes I feel so strange about myself. I feel as if I do not know myself enough; I am not sure about myself. I keep on changing so much that I feel ‘loss of identity’ time and again.

I enjoy interacting with strangers. Continuous dependence on ‘outside stranger’ is not good – because every stranger becomes an acquaintance after a certain time. And a 'brand new stranger' and ‘once known but now stranger’ are strangers of highly different qualities. One does not enjoy ‘once well known but now strangers’ as much as ‘new strangers’.

So, I guess being and becoming a stranger to oneself is the only assured way of having fun in life!

122. Vacancy

People talk and their is a purpose.
People maintain silence and there is a purpose.
People tell a deliberate lie and there is a purpose.
People ignore and there is a purpose.
People turn their back and there is a purpose.
People get angry and there is a purpose.
People are honest and there is a purpose.
And so on....

People welcome you with lot of enthusiasm .. and many times this one act is without purpose.
It is as spontaneous as rest of the actions, but it is still different.
One can feel it.

I have been always amused at the way people respond.
It is not that a particular person responds or communicates in the same way for all the life.
People are different with different people.
Not only that, people are different at different times with the same people.
Situations change, relationships change, urge changes, comfort level changes.

I have been always amused at the way I get connected with people and the way I am disconnected. This happens without apparent reasons.
People come and go.
Today one is the highest priority and tomorrow the same could become a stranger and vice versa.

If one looks at all these connections with the perception of 'destination' one gets attached and the attachment brings both joy and pain. Both are extremes.
But the connection and disconnection can be very non-violent if one looks at it as a journey and not destination.
Journey brings moments of joy and pain too - but one knows that it is going to end after a stipulated time.


Life always creates new connections - which almost always are enriching.
The moment the learning from a particular connection is over, the next connection comes from nowhere.

The key is to keep the 'vacancy' in the mind and life intact.
So far, I have been able to do it.

Let me see, whether I can keep the vacancy forever.